im conversation of the week

sh4wn: have you seen Hot Fuzz?
Eddie: Three times.  Too funny.
Eddie: I’m not sure that it ranks ahead of Shawn of the Dead as it did for you though.
sh4wn: I think Shaun of the Dead is a better story, but i think Hot Fuzz may have been a little funnier for me.
sh4wn: In general, i like zombies more than cops.
sh4wn: I mean, who doesn’t?
Eddie: Living next to me?
sh4wn: Well, just in general.
sh4wn: Zombies don’t live next to people…
Eddie: That is true.
sh4wn: That’s just crazy talk.
Eddie: You’re very right.  I mean, who’s going to even let a zombie fill out an apartment application much less do an open house?
Eddie: I was way off.
sh4wn: I’m glad you saw it.
sh4wn: It’s mostly the smell.
sh4wn: The manners play a part as well.
sh4wn: And of course, there’s the whole ‘income generation’ thing.
Eddie: I was thinking the incessant need to kill, maim, and devour brains, but you’re probably closer to the reality of it all.

im conversation on my birthday

themick:: hey, will you ask your boy bobby if he got my email from this morning?
themick:: I haven’t heard back from him yet
themick:: oh and happy burstday
sh4wn:: thanks
sh4wn:: bobby called in sick
sh4wn:: cause he’s a girl
themick:: what a freakin wuss
sh4wn:: yeah
themick:: i hope his face falls off
sh4wn:: hey!
sh4wn:: me too!
sh4wn:: i was just saying that to Optimus Prime earlier today
sh4wn:: Optimus,
sh4wn:: i hope bobby’s face falls off
sh4wn:: cause he’s a girl
sh4wn:: that’s what i said
themick:: ummm, the optimus prime on your desk right?
sh4wn:: ummmm
sh4wn:: yes
sh4wn:: i think
themick:: i hope so
sh4wn:: me too
themick:: for everyone involved
themick:: especially the ugly children
sh4wn:: i hate them
themick:: and their ugliness
sh4wn:: especially that
themick:: also the biting
themick:: is intolerable
sh4wn:: and the uncontrollable urination
themick:: i’m working on that okay!
themick:: just drop it
sh4wn:: sorry
sh4wn:: forgot
themick:: it’s just a nerves thing
sh4wn:: i just sweat
sh4wn:: and blurt out obscenities
themick:: well, see that’s fairly socially acceptable
themick:: I mean sometimes we just tell people you’re foreign and that you don’t know any better
sh4wn:: oh, that’s why people always talk slowly to me
themick:: yeah, well sometimes they just think your retarded too
themick:: either one works
sh4wn:: see…things are making so much more sense now
sh4wn:: when that woman the other night was petting my head, i couldn’t figure out what she was doing
themick:: hahaha
themick:: wait…what happened
sh4wn:: um
sh4wn:: wait
sh4wn:: maybe that was something else
themick:: hey, is there a good bbq place near your house?
themick:: i need bbq
sh4wn:: you could get off at the brentwood exit and get corky’s
sh4wn:: that’s delicious
themick:: don’t tell me things like that
themick:: you are evil
themick:: i can order from corky’s online
themick:: amazing
sh4wn:: i love modern

im conversation of the week

john m: lowercase
john m: injested
sh4wn: cheese and cabbale
john m: spinach
john m: waffle
john m: lowercase elective
sh4wn: i just bit my tongue
sh4wn: thanks a heap
john m: lowercase uhh
john m: lowercase E coli
sh4wn: spinach collective
john m: lowercase Manhattan
john m: Upper East side-collective
sh4wn: the rice and bacon celery
john m: i have this new obsession
john m: i go and add myself to people’s high school alumni
john m: even though i didn’t go there
sh4wn: hehe
john m: in high school
john m: I was in Chess Club, Archery, 4H, and Speling Be Champian
sh4wn: hehe
john m: 2
sh4wn: math
john m: rollercoaster
sh4wn: harpies
john m: fish
sh4wn: motorbus
john m: Sam I Am
sh4wn: toadstools with rabies
john m: speaker
sh4wn: evil squid
john m: gringo
sh4wn: Gary Coleman
john m: GO Titans!
sh4wn: misshaped mint
john m: utah
sh4wn: ghosts
john m: calibrated joystick
sh4wn: F5
john m: Runstop Restore
sh4wn: a baker’s dozen
john m: Word Perfect
sh4wn: action figures
john m: national anthem
sh4wn: tomahawk
john m: Silver Spoon reruns

im conversation of the week

fatAndy: It looks like Sufjan will be playing the Ryman on Sept. 11
sh4wn: yeah…i saw that
sh4wn: interesting
sh4wn: what kind of name is Sufjan, anyway?
fatAndy: half klingon and half girl
sh4wn: i think he made it up
fatAndy: it’s actually a compound word
fatAndy: suf from suffer
fatAndy: and jan from January
fatAndy: suffer january, which is also what fat people call it after they make weight related new years resolutions
sh4wn: you think he used to be a big one?
fatAndy: maybe
fatAndy: maybe his parents are fatties
fatAndy: he stayed thin due to their constant dieting
sh4wn: maybe he’s allergic to ants
sh4wn: and not just ant bites
sh4wn: like
sh4wn: really allergic to being in the presence of ants
fatAndy: or maybe he is actually a million ants moving about under a skin suit. Like the ants found him in the woods and ate his inards. now they control his every move
fatAndy: it’s their way trying to lull us into a false sense of security while other ants find something big to squish US with
sh4wn: i’ve heard of stranger things
fatAndy: damn dirty ants
sh4wn: they really are out to get us
sh4wn: i’ve seen documentaries about it
fatAndy: never trust anything that can lift 50 times it weight and still doesn’t eat better than fallen crumbs and dirt
sh4wn: words to live by
fatAndy: true, my friend
fatAndy: true

im conversation of the week

DrJones: we need to take over the offices above us
DrJones: have a firepole
Cherry: I like that
DrJones: so we can come down when the alarm sounds
DrJones: or, when Gus Sanchez arrives
sh4wn: i love Gus
DrJones: Gus has children… they are named 'Joy' and 'Rest'
DrJones: Joy and Rest Sanchez, of course
sh4wn: i didn't know that
DrJones: also a dog
sh4wn: is he married?
DrJones: Ted
sh4wn: that's his wife's name?
DrJones: no
DrJones: his dog
DrJones: his wife is Teresa
sh4wn: i tried to date Teresa once
sh4wn: i wonder if it's the same woman
DrJones: hrmm
DrJones: doubt it
sh4wn: i had a huge crush on her my junior year of college
sh4wn: Gus may have stolen her away
DrJones: Teresa arrives in the morning, to let you know that you don't have to even go in to work at all
sh4wn: she never visits me
sh4wn: i hate her
DrJones: that's probably why it didn't work between you two
sh4wn: she must spend all of her time in M'boro
sh4wn: the lousy whore
DrJones: she doesn't really visit me
DrJones: cause one time she did
DrJones: and i tried to capture her for frequent use
DrJones: Mrs. Sanchez is surprisingly nimble
sh4wn: of course she is
sh4wn: Gus wants more children
sh4wn: she's tired of giving it up
sh4wn: she visted you on monday and tuesday
DrJones: not monday… as i worked from home… had she visited, I would have done nothing
DrJones: same really on Tuesday… i worked until mid-day trip to airport
DrJones: it could be said that on the drive to the airport, after getting off the phone with clients, Gus visited in my car
sh4wn: it could be indeed
DrJones: Teresa came to stay with me for awhile when Illustrious was born
sh4wn: yeah
sh4wn: is she a midwife?
DrJones: no
DrJones: freeloader mostly
sh4wn: i had no idea
DrJones: but you tend to put up with her when you don't have to go to work
Cherry: edwardo theyoungest one is not much better
sh4wn: is not much better than what?
sh4wn: Ted?
sh4wn: Ted's a dog
DrJones: you're just making that up
Cherry: oh sorry
DrJones: although, it may be true
DrJones: it is a little known fact that there is a third Sanchez child…
DrJones: the oldest…
DrJones: but he is currently banished to the Congo with a bad case of genital herpes
DrJones: His name is Fiasco Sanchez
Cherry: I hear he has a gamy leg and a pentiant for wrapping his leg in tortillas
DrJones: that's the one
sh4wn: oh yeah…i saw that guy at Harris Teeter last week, i think
DrJones: in the Congo?
sh4wn: i don't remember being in the Congo…
sh4wn: odd
DrJones: cause there is another guy around here that wraps his leg in tortillas
DrJones: but he's a hack
DrJones: everybody knows it
sh4wn: that's the guy i saw
sh4wn: he kept trying to get the customers to sample his leg
sh4wn: it was truely disturbing
DrJones: yeah, that's not good
Cherry: I had a bite "Not Bad"
DrJones: i'll take your word for it cherry
sh4wn: yeah
sh4wn: i won't be sampling
sh4wn: you know how many people have been on that leg?
Cherry: I never thought of that
sh4wn: yeah
sh4wn: disgusting, really

Best IM conversation of the week

(i’ve edited it down, and changed the addresses for the protection of those involved)

My Friend Luke: why aren’t you around for MM (Moustache May)?
sh4wn: well
My Friend Luke: wife hate it?
sh4wn: my wife says i look like my dad with a moustache
sh4wn: it freaks her out
My Friend Luke: well
My Friend Luke: thats a reason
sh4wn: hehe
My Friend Luke: no good
sh4wn: but you look awesome
My Friend Luke: haha
My Friend Luke: I look RIDICULOUS
sh4wn: some guys can pull it off
sh4wn: theres about 10 guys that look amazing
sh4wn: everyone else looks creepy
My Friend Luke: hahha
My Friend Luke: yeah
My Friend Luke: I get creepy a lot
My Friend Luke: I keep forgetting I have one
sh4wn: hehe
My Friend Luke: and I go to the bathroom
My Friend Luke: and I’m all “damn”
My Friend Luke: I have a mustache
sh4wn: ahahaha
My Friend Luke: it’s just bizarre to me
My Friend Luke: i’ve never had one for more than a day
My Friend Luke: so it’s strange
My Friend Luke: it’s a strange yet cool experience
sh4wn: what does your wife think?
My Friend Luke: she HATES it
sh4wn: ahaha
My Friend Luke: but I think it’s growing on her
My Friend Luke: she allowed relations after 4 days when she originally swore it off for the whole month
My Friend Luke: I guess I’m just THAT hot
My Friend Luke: or not
sh4wn: ahahahah
sh4wn: that’s the best thing i’ve heard this week
My Friend Luke: gotta keep the hair slicked down though – gives it that Circus/Make Believe feel that kinds detracts from the whole “creepy” aspect of it
My Friend Luke: know what I mean
sh4wn: yeah
sh4wn: makes sense
My Friend Luke: I ran through my neighborhood in that wife beater yesterday complete with a headband and wristbands while listening to an old school Wlkaman
My Friend Luke: all the neighbors are talking
sh4wn: that’s incredible
My Friend Luke: I know
My Friend Luke: it was fun
My Friend Luke: I laughed the whole time
My Friend Luke: and I realized something -
My Friend Luke: it’s hard to jog when you’re laughing
sh4wn: good point
My Friend Luke: but the exercise is helping
My Friend Luke: I’ve lost 20 pounds since the beginning of the month
My Friend Luke: I wanna bulk up and get strong
sh4wn: in 5 days?
My Friend Luke: well
My Friend Luke: April
My Friend Luke: I’m still in Aprils time zone
sh4wn: congrats
My Friend Luke: thanks
sh4wn: i’m trying to drop about 10
sh4wn: it’s slow going
My Friend Luke: I jus wanna be able to pick Sarah up when she gets mad at me
sh4wn: ahaha
My Friend Luke: how can you stay mad when someone picks you up?
My Friend Luke: try it next time with your wife
sh4wn: i’ll have to try that
My Friend Luke: she gets pissed
My Friend Luke: just picker her up
My Friend Luke: she can’t stay mad
My Friend Luke: no way
sh4wn: brilliant
sh4wn: you are chock full of wisdom
My Friend Luke: I try
sh4wn: i may have to quote part of this conversation on my blog today
My Friend Luke: its really stupidity disguised as wisdom
My Friend Luke: hahhaha
sh4wn: i’ll protect your im address so creepy blog lurkers don’t try to contact you